Who doesn’t like to come home and find a peaceful atmosphere? Who doesn’t like to experience a welcoming feeling after a long day of work? It’s wonderful to have a love nest full of the joy of the Lord. However, now a days that’s not the case of many households.
I want to share some things I’ve learned to do on a regular basis to keep things vibrant in my home. Being able to understand them has given me excellent results. There are many things to take in consideration when talking about a well balanced marriage. I will only mention three for now. Here I go.
1. Don’t compete with your spouse.
There are circumstances where competing is totally feasible and appropriate. NOT in marriage though. Your God given partner is not your opponent nor is the person for you to compare yourself with. In fact, don’t compare him or her with anybody. Your spouse should be your friend, it’s the person that has your back. You should look after each other, support each other’s strengths and bear with each other’s weaknesses.
“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
Ephesians 5:21 NIV
This next verse is applicable to men also.
“The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.”
Proverbs 14:1 NIV
If you apply wisdom to what you say and do to your spouse, it will surely keep you from a lot of trouble. Simple. THINK before reacting or before saying anything with the potential to harm and hurt. Don’t let your ego get the best of you. (Self Control).
2. Be Intentional.
The nice things God puts in your mind about your spouse are for you to say and not to keep them to yourself.
For instance, one day I noticed my husband putting the dirty socks in the basket in a peculiar way, it surely made my life easier for laundry purposes. So I went and told him how much I appreciate what he did to keep the socks together for them not to get lost.
This is such a small event that it’s easy to think about it and not say a thing. But, if you are intentional with your spouse, you will use any excuse to express how much you appreciate and love him or her.
One of the most powerful tools to keep your marriage vibrant is to be intentionally good to your spouse.
Use your imagination! You should know what your spouse likes. If you don’t know how to express it, ask God to give you strategies. He will show you the way.
3. Don’t expect from your spouse what only God can give you.
“Give Caesar what is Caesar’s and God what is God’s” (Lk.20:25). To put a person in God’s place can be devastating for a marriage. Only the Lord can completely fill the the deepest void in a human soul. No man or woman has the ability to do that. The amount of pressure put on a person is overwhelming when the spouse is expecting the unconceivable. It either ends up in divorce or in a very bitter marriage, full of resentment, un-forgiveness and hurt.
That’s why the Lord wants us to search for Him first. Through Him we get everything we need (Mat.6:33). Jesus is the only one capable to fill everything in every way (Ef.1:22-23). Only He provides fullness of joy (Ps.16:11). This is what gives you the freedom to give without expecting to receive in an unhealthy way.
Take a look at how Paul prays for Ephesus.
“For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,”
Ephesians 3:14-20 NIV
Notice how BIG is that love he talks about. IT SURPASSES OUR KNOWLEDGE. It is impossible to expect it from a human being. You will desire to serve the person you love and not expect back the impossible, only if your priorities are in the right place.
The Lord becomes your primary source giving you the freedom to love unselfishly. It’s a love that doesn’t consume you; it guards you from becoming unhealthily codependent.
I pray this post be useful to you. I will leave you with this word. I know you have probably read it many times. Though, I’m asking you to read it one more time with discernment and meditation.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV
A prayer for your Marriage.
Lord I lift before you the spouse that’s reading this post. I ask for restoration, unity and favor over their marriage. I ask for You to come in the midst of them and give them wisdom and eyes to see SOLUTION. I pray for their hearts to be enlightened to acknowledge the truth. Transform and renew them Lord. In Jesus name, Amen.